I've
been drifting in the sea of depression for several weeks now.... no, to
be more accurate I have almost drowned in that dreadful sea. I could
feel the waves shifting all around me trying to pull me under. I could
hear it's roar drowning out all reason. As the waters engulfed me, I
found it almost impossible to scream out. Deeper and deeper I continued
to sink. I felt as if I was drowning. I had been isolated from the
land of the living and cast into the sea of the lost.
My
life lines all seemed to have been cut. I didn't want to leave the
house. I had to force myself to work... I had to force myself to church
(when I did go)... I had to force myself to get my daily post out on
the computer and do what little responding I could. The weight of my
depression was pulling me to the bottom depths of it's sea. It closed
in around me like a darkness, I didn't want to be seen by anyone. As
it's tides grew and twisted, it drowned out the pleas to my Heavenly
Father. It's murky water seemed to fill my mouth and halt any
conversation.
I
knew my Father never leaves or forsakes His Children, yet I thought my
depression had me so low that I would never be able to surface again.
It's seaweed had me bound to the bottom. I thought it would hold me
there until my last bit of air ran out and then spit my shattered body
and spirit to the top.... but I have a Heavenly Father. Let me say that
again... I have a Heavenly Father and despite what I thought, my Father
said it's not so MY child. I told you before and I'm telling you
again, you have work for ME yet to do.
At
first, the seaweed tightened it's grip. You know the enemy doesn't
like for the Lord to win. It was twisted so tight that I didn't really
even want to fight. But my Father.... my awesome loving, understanding
Father kept chiming not so my child you have work yet to do. I felt Him
pulling me to the ocean... where there were so many people and I didn't
want to be seen. I finally gave in and went. On the first trip, I saw
His awesome beauty everywhere. And my Father, always knowing what I
need, seemed to clear most of the people away before my arrival. I
waded in and watched the water wash over my feet. The seaweed began to
loosen it's grip. As the waves washed over my feet and then the water
pulled back into the ocean, I was reminded of how Jesus takes our sins
and washes them away.
Now
, like I said, the seaweed was loosened meaning satan was losing
power. The waves of life began coming at me from all directions and I
felt as I couldn't even catch my breath. I just knew they were going to
suck me under... but I have a Mother, a Pastor, a a few dear friends
that were there in the back ground praying me through. I began to reach
out for that life line that had been cast, but it seemed to drag just
beyond my grasp. Just as I was feeling completely overwhelmed and the
tears were falling faster than a hard Summer rain my Father said it will
be okay daughter, I'm drawing You closer to me and this will make your
faith grow stronger in Me.
That awesome peace, that only
comes from God, began to wash over me... and through me. Day by day,
the water began to clear from my mind. I realized the seaweed didn't
have me bound, all I had to do was let go of it and let God work. It
was time from me to emerge from the murky sea of depression and swim in
God's beautiful ocean. I am a child of God. I bind satan and all of
his power He has no authority over me and I take back my life that God
himself has blessed me with and I will follow the path He has set for my
life and do His work!
I
went back to the ocean today. I got into the water this time and the
Lord showed me a couple of things. As I went out the waves continued to
come up higher and higher. When my feet were firmly planted the waves
shook me a little, but couldn't move me. If I stay firmly planted in
God's Word, In His House, in prayer the enemy can shake me, but he can
never defeat me. The second I let someone catch me off guard I lost my
footing and fell, at that same time waves began to hit me and I had a
hard time getting back up... but I did and I regained my footing...
First, the Lord showed me I need to watch and pray and He will help me
weather those high waves that life often throws our way. Second, if I
do lose my footing I won't drown... the Lord is my life line and no one
or any thing can ever hold me under.
Are
you drowning in the sea of depression? Are the waters of life pulling
you under? Look up to the hills that cometh your help... the Lord
lifted me above the waters and He can do the same for you.
~ Chelle
7/1/06
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