Retro Living

My life seems to have come full circle.  I remember being young and living in a small trailer, wanting out of a little town.  I just longed to live the big city life.  I craved the loud busy streets with vendors like I found while living in New York.  A world of riding the trains and subways with taxi cabs doing the driving was all me.   I wanted the loud confusion of the city to drown out everything else that goes through this worrisome head of mine. I loved it, for a time.  As I got older my views began to change, I no longer saw the world with the innocence of a child.  I began to long for those old country roads we traveled as teens.  The quiet peacefulness of the off beaten track is where I now wanted to be.  Florida offered a slower way of being, but it was just that "being."  The long hours I poured into work left no satisfaction for me.  Working with government programs made me lose trust in our political system.  I began to become hardened to the things going on in the world, "what do you expect" became my attitude.  I was calloused to the things people go through, after all so many brought them upon themselves.  I was tired of confronting the ungratefulness that exist in people, there seemed to be an expectation among many that things should be given to them.  Like most, I have had to earn everything along the way so where does this expectation come from?  Not to mention the truth was a concept I believed people in general had abandoned.  I would hear stories and say and think, "How sad, if it is true."  When had my belief that the political system was big governmental conspiracy been born?  At one point did my sorrow for my fellow man begin to dwindle?  I recall my co-workers in New York laughing at just how many times I would say "bless your heart" over the phone to customers each day.  How long had it been since I uttered those words to people over and over and meant them straight from the heart?  What a sad existence for me. 

As I met Billy, my heart began to soften again.  I started to crave those things I had been so eager to leave behind when I was young.  My priorities began to shift, I no longer cared to immerse myself in work.  I wanted to spend time with family and friends.  I started to listen to the stories I was being told with a genuine concern.  I still see the government as big brother and not so much for the people, but for the political parties. However, I now I chose to be advocate for the things close to my heart.  I am no longer naive.  There are many people ready to pounce on the innocent; however, there are many innocent that need help.  Now I find myself in Louisiana, in the midst of people who need an advocate the most.

I'm living in a tiny trailer that is a long way from a luxury apartment I had become accustomed to, yet there is a peace that resides here.  A happiness I had been a part from.  The trailer is snuggled into a little park, hidden away from the traffic with families that push their children on bikes, nightly bonfires, and morning coffee on the porch. Every trailer here looks like it is from the 50's to 70's.  There isn't the modern comfort of a dishwasher.  It requires a trip to the local laundry mat for clean clothes.  Yet there is a sense of contentment deep within me that I had allowed the city  to rob.  This place is old, but that gives it character.  The space is tiny, yet cozy.  The air is clean and the atmosphere is calm.  I smile and look around at what I call our Peaceful Retro Haven. I've fallen back into another time, a time before I had got lost into the hustle of today's world.  Yes, my life has come full circle.  I am not only okay with that, I am completely at peace with that!

~ Chelle
    11/10/13